Scalding Take: Tristan Thinks Israel and Palestine Should Reach a Two-State Solution

Someone get this kid a seat in the UN. 

Tristan Evans (C '20), recipient of a B- in Intro to International Relations and occasional shower-upper to Penn Democrats, definitely has the credentials to be an Intelligence Analyst. 

“I just don’t understand what all the fuss is about!” Evans told UTB staff. “Hear me out. Two groups want a chunk of land. Draw a line down the middle. Each group gets half. Bada bing bada boom. This is not even remotely complicated.”

Not only does he have the academic foundation in International Politics, Tristan’s Birthright trip to Israel only substantiates the quality of his analysis. After 12 days of clubbing in Tel Aviv and reuniting with his camp friends in local falafel joints, he definitely has grasped the nuances of the violence in the West Bank. 

“It’s just like when my twin brother and I used to share a room. We were fighting all the time. And then, my parents added a wing to our house, and my brother and I got our own room. And now we never fight.”