OP-ED: I See You Viewed My Instagram Story, and, Yes, I'll Marry You

Oh, would you look at that...I posted a boomerang of me and my friend wearing hilarious matching outfits on my Instagram story, and I see that you viewed it. Well, the answer to the question you very clearly mean to ask is, yes: I will marry you.

I honestly appreciate your bravery so much. It was so forward of you, tapping on my story like that and watching it. Good for you, dude. You shot your shot, and it paid off!

It's so crazy — I really didn't see the proposal coming at all. I just tapped on the little icon in the bottom corner of the screen and BAM. The wedding date is set for June! 

Holy shit. I just checked again, and, omg, you are such a flirt! It was one thing that you viewed my story, but voting "No" in my Insta-poll asking whether my friend and I were "Twinsies or nah," too? 

You're like, virtually drooling over me right now, and it's adorable. I mean, if you wanted to get in my pants so bad, you could have just DM'ed me.