OP-ED: Do You Even Know Who My Father Is? Is He Proud of Me? I Would Really Like To Meet Him Someday?

Hey you! Yeah, you. Wow, cute. You must be a freshman because you clearly don’t know who my daddy is. Can you even tell me, idiot? Seriously, bro, you don’t even know? I was really expecting more from you? I was really hoping you could help me finally meet my dad, bro? 

Do you even know what frat I’m in bro? Can you even tell me?? Seriously, I am so fucking lost??? Honestly, I can’t believe you right now. How did you get into this school? You don’t even know anyone here? 

Speaking of, do you even know what school we go to, bro?  Bro, do you even know who I am? My identity is drifting away from me bro? Seriously? Someone, please help? Bro!?