'Never Do Drugs' Say Parents Who Said They Would Never Get Divorced

In a shocking reveal, it would appear that the very same parents who told their son, current College freshmen Sean Greene, that he should “never do drugs,” had, three years prior, maintained a stance that they would “never get divorced,” despite doing just that one month later. 

The statement came just minutes after the two, accompanied by their respective spouses, dropped Greene off at Penn for his spring semester. Commenting on the situation, Greene said it was “so fucking classic” of Mr. Greene and Mrs. Michaels, and that “it sounds just like something they would say.” 

Shortly after the entourage departed back to Chester County, the younger Greene was found smoking weed and rapping some of the words to Sicko Mode in the room of Allison Temple, the woman he would one day marry and later divorce. Hopefully, a prenup is involved.