Ahead of 2020, Sororities Already Planning 2010s-Themed Date Nights

Oh 2020 — the year of endless hindsight jokes, me becoming a 22-year-old intern, and an election that I’m sure will go our way this time.

While so many of us are looking forward to a new decade, nostalgia for our current one is already starting. Jenny Applebaum (C ‘20), a member of Alpha Rho Delta (ARD), has spent the better part of the last two years on the Decade Transition Team for her sorority. “Our job is to synthesize an entire decade’s worth of culture and trends into 3-4 all-decade themes,” she explained.

Alpha Rho Delta’s Transition Team has pinpointed the dougie as the archetypal dance of the 2010’s decade. “Next year, when the clock strikes midnight of December 31, we will send members our first date night details,” she continued. “It’ll be a night of hitting the dougie, the quan, and the cat daddy. Our curated playlist spans from T-Wayne to Silentó. Acceptable dress can take the form of dressing like you’re in the NBA when you’re really 5’ 7”, cuffed jeans and Stan Smiths, or just head-to-toe Supreme.”

Meanwhile, rival sorority Beta Epsilon Theta (BET) has their own Decade Transition Team planning their nostalgia-laden date night. BET’s team is led by Katie Couric (not related), a Sophomore in Wharton. “We’re taking a more literal approach to the decade,” Couric said. “Feel free to dress as one of dictators helping to revive authoritarianism like Assad or Maduro. Make sure to dress lightly, not cause we wanna see skin, but we’re turning the temperature up seven degrees Fahrenheit to mimic the impact of the decade’s global warming.”

While we all anticipate great parties from these two sororities, rumor has it that ARD and BET will actually be merging to form a new sorority just called BET. According to many, this move should’ve happened back in 2014, but it’s never too late.