Amazing! Birthright Really Convinced Sophie Everything in Israel Is “Sababa”

If you’re not into magic, stop reading now. Birthright just pulled off one of the wildest illusions in history. After 10 raucous days in the holy land, Birthright left Sophie Golden really believing that everything in Israel is “B’seder.” 

Her trip, that left in late May, included trips to waterfalls, excursions to beaches, and parties at clubs, all culminating in her feeling that the country was in a pretty a-ok spot in terms of peace and everything.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” said the famed magician David Blaine. “They spent 10 days traveling with young soldiers who had served in the west bank, and all Sophie gathered was that Israeli men are pretty sexy. I really don’t think I could have pulled this off.”

Her trip came in the wake of an incredibly contentious election that put the future of a two-state solution on the line. Amazingly, Birthright managed to convince Sophie that Israel was less of a country with real world policy implications and more of a movie set for her very own eat, pray, love. 

Sophie’s highly organized trip schedule was able to drown out the fears of a future apartheid with unlimited hummus.

“I just think everyone back home is being pretty dramatic about the situation,” said Sophie as rockets flew overhead. “Like, if they knew how well everyone’s getting along here, I think they’d all calm down. I just met an Arab who runs a Belgian waffle shop in Tel Aviv. A waffle shop! And you know what waffles smell like…peace and mutual understanding. Sorry, what are those sirens for?” 

When interviewed, Birthright leadership said a trick of this scope cost them a lot — both financially and morally. “Yes, the trip was free for Sophie, but don’t be fooled. It takes a lot of work to hide an international crisis heading towards war from a 21-year-old ivy league student.”

“I can’t believe we pulled it off. I could not be more proud of my team.”