Dean Furda's Son to "Row Crew" at Penn Next Year

It was a happy and entirely expected day for the Furda family last Thursday when Jimmy Furda got his admissions letter confirming his spot in the Penn Class of 2023. The young Furda and eight other guys who probably have some great definition from using those rowing machines will make up the class of incoming freshman heavyweight rowing recruits. 

An academic and athletic superstar, Jimmy was happy to help prop up the team’s Academic Index. 

“Hey, Dad. Do you happen to know like, the minimum SAT score I would need to get recruited? No reason why I’m asking haha I’m just curious,” Jimbo was recorded saying in late October of last year.

We reached out to the admissions office, but they declined to comment. 

However, we did learn that Dean Eric Furda, Penn’s Dean of Admissions and Jim’s father, was reportedly not supportive of his son’s decision to row crew. Instead, he wanted Jimmy to follow in his footsteps and pursue the only sport more irrelevant than crew: sprint football. 

But lil’ Jimmy Furda knew that he was destined to be a member of Penn’s crew team. 

“Ever since I learned photoshop and Googled what an erg was, I had a pretty good feeling about things.” 

Jimmy can’t wait to graduate from Wharton in 2023 and is thrilled that he is getting into college athletics at such an opportune time.

“If my future Wharton education has taught me anything, it’s that college athletes, no matter their commitment or skill level, should be paid. This debate is so silly,” Jimmy said.

Truly a budding businessman at heart, Furda is pretty sure he got in on his own. 

“Dad told me that as soon as they read my essay about my plans to launch my own YouTube channel, his friends in the admissions office knew I was a perfect fit for Wharton. Honestly, it makes sense. How could they resist such entrepreneurial spirit?”