Move over Groundhogs Day! I Know Its Spring When Fraternities Start Playing Pong outside

I’m just gonna come right out and say it: Fuck Punxsutawney Phil. 

Every year the same exact thing happens. People are fed up with the cold and beg for spring to come save us from the frozen nightmare of Philly winter. So who do we turn look to for information? Who do we put our trust in as the arbiter of warmth? Some dumb groundhog. I simply won’t except this archaic system anymore. Spring is the best time of the year, so I’m calling in the big guns.

Specifically, I’m calling in the big guns of Braden in Sig Chi. I saw Braden playing pong outdoors yesterday in the front lawn of his fraternity house and it brought a tear to my eye. After all, it’s not really Spring if you can’t walk down locust and hear seven different speakers blasting seven different shitty Drake songs. I finally knew winter was behind us. 

This is clearly a better indication of weather patterns than if a glorified rat can see his little rat shadow. Braden got a B in his geology class sophomore year, so yea, I’m pretty sure he knows his stuff.