OP-ED: What If We Kissed in the Moelis Family Grand Reading Room?

I’ve been thinking a lot, lately. About me. You. Us. About our lips, our tongues. About Van Pelt. The fifth floor. The third floor. Sometimes the fourth. The sixth, but only rarely. Never the second. 

The floor I usually think about is the first. I think about checking out books, those weird little study booths, the media lab, but, more than anything else, I think about the Moelis Family Grand Reading Room.

We should go sometime. We could study, but only a little. We’d almost certainly be consumed by our passions. You’d be distracted by my luscious beard, my lumberjack-like musk, and my receding hairline, and I would be distracted by your beautiful eyes, your self-deprecating humor, your cool clothes, and the sixth finger on your left hand…

What if, suddenly, we kissed? In the Moelis Family Grand Reading Room?

What would you do? How long would it last? Would there be tongue? Teeth? Biting? Would we get kicked out? Would it be tonight? Tomorrow? During finals? 

I digress. We can iron out the specifics later. All that I’m really asking is: what would you do if we kissed in the Moelis Family Grand Reading Room?