Nursing Student Uses Note Cards to Remember The Sensation of Sleep

Nursing freshman Bethany Christianson uses notecards for everything, but yesterday witnesses reported something strange. At around 3:40 a.m. they witnessed Christianson, highlighters sprawled across an entire table of the Hill study lounge, scribbling away on a single notecard labeled “S LE eP ?”

Freshman eyewitness, Shawn Lane spoke to the contents of the card. “I was able to get a closer look. The details were something like…” Lane proceeded to draw the notecard on a piece of paper, which we have transcribed below. 

   S LE eP    ???

• passtime for the WeAk
• eyes closed, but anatomy and physiology notes are still tattooed on eyelids. why did i do that?
• homework never ends
• hek u    mom        you can’t make me go to   b ed

In an interview, Christianson defended herself by saying “sleep-wake homeostasis is a real thing, you guys. I need to study this for class.” 

Suuuure, Bethany. Do you think you can trick us with your science words? Just let us make fun of you. All these anatomy classes, but she still doesn’t understand the humerus.

In response to these reports, Christianson has been offered a position as a long term overnight sleep study patient at the Penn Sleep Center. At least now she can tell her parents she has a summer internship.