OP-ED: Let the Organ Music on Locust Headline Fling

Spring Fling is upon us, and with it comes the annual controversy over the concert headliner. Last year, students were unpleasantly surprised to learn that the long-forgotten All-American Rejects would take center stage. The year before that, they were confounded by SPEC's choice of bygone EDM lord Zedd. And this year, people are no more stoked to shell out $35 to see Miguel. 

It seems that when it comes to the main Fling event, Penn has been scraping the bottom of the barrel for some time now. What the concert needs is a fresh new update – a headliner that will make the Penn student body proud to whip out their lighters and sway to the music in the cool spring breeze, a headliner with irresistible, nostalgic anthems that'll leave nary a dry eye in Penn Park. And I think I have just the thing. 

The organ music on Locust Walk should headline Spring Fling.

I know what some of you might be thinking. There's an organ on Locust Walk?, you ask. Well, not exactly. The reason you can't conjure an image in your mind is because it's invisible, locked away in some secret tower between Van Pelt and Annenberg. 

But close your eyes; picture noontime on a Wednesday afternoon. What's that you hear? A chime-y rendition of "Hurrah, Hurrah?" A gothic arrangement of Simon & Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Water?" Indeed, it is. Now picture that music blasting from the stage at Penn Park Saturday night as you roll face and vomit the former contents of a keg into a nearby trashcan. 

Could it get any better than that? J.I.D. is fine and all, but compared to that sweet, crooning campus organ? The current lineup doesn't stand a chance.

And with the recent allegations of sexual assault surrounding the current headliner, Miguel, there has never been a better opportunity for SPEC to change course. If Penn cares at all about the desires of its socially aware student body, it will realize that hiring a headliner without a shady track record is of the utmost importance. As far as I know, there are currently no past or pending charges against the demure, elegant organ. On a basic ethical level, firing Miguel and letting the organ music on Locust Walk assume the spotlight is just the responsible thing to do.

So, Penn, heed our calls for a concert with soul and heart. Let the campus organ headline Fling.