Watch Out! That Kid Who Scooters to Class Just Got Nunchucks

Woah! There goes Josh Reed (C '20) trying to relive his childhood luster again.

We all remember senior year of high school when Reed was the first person above the age of 14 at his school to get a fidget spinner. And who could forget freshman year when Reed had to explain to all his friends that the flash drive he kept putting into his mouth was actually this sick new vape called a Juul. Oh, and there was sophomore year when Reed got his first, second, and third pair of airpods while the rest of us plebes were still twiddling our wires.

And that brings us to junior year when Reed came back from a summer in Santa Monica of riding Birds and Limes with his own electric scooter. Reed went everywhere with that thing. Maybe showing up to the vigil for the New Zealand shooting riding 20 MPH on his scooter wasn’t the most respectful move, but goddamnit if he didn’t get from his apartment to the College Green in less than five minutes.

And that takes us to today. Reed ditched the scooter and got himself some nunchaku. While he doesn’t plan on using them to hurt anyone, he does plan on practicing with them every 12 to 3 o’clock on College Green and perhaps even making a sick 80’s montage. “Scooters just aren’t all that anymore,” the junior proclaimed. “That’s why I sold my Razor to a freshman for $50 more than I paid for it, so I could buy an authentic pair of nunchucks.”

The questionable legality of nunchucks be damned, Josh stuck with his original goal and was able to buy a pair off the black market. “At a certain point, I was going to just buy a gun, cause that’s easier in this country, but I might just save that flashy new trend for next year,” Josh reflected.