Exit Poll: UA Voters Care Most About Neat Sidewalk Chalk Handwriting

This semester’s UA election cycle has wrapped up and after fierce campaigns from all candidates, UTB conducted an exit poll to find out what issues most influenced voters’ decisions. 

The results speak for themselves: by a massive margin, voters are most likely to vote for the candidate whose sidewalk chalk advertisements have the neatest handwriting. 

“I think the candidates across the board made a lot of interesting promises that could truly have positive impacts on the future of Penn," shared Faye Bowman (E ‘22), “but at the end of the day, I don’t think I could trust someone who doesn’t put the utmost care and attention to detail in their sidewalk chalk penmanship. It really is a dying art.” 

Caleb Dixon (C ‘21) shared his reasoning for voting for Natasha Menon and Brian Goldstein, the new UA President and Vice President: “I just really liked the way Natasha writes her A’s and her name has so many of them. The font she chose really works for that letter and the medium of sidewalk chalk. It shows that she knows how to make difficult decisions, so I am confident she will represent my interests as president of the UA. And the curvature of Brian’s capital B at the beginning of his name really stood out among the other candidates, making him the obvious choice.” 

To all those eyeing a leadership position in the UA in the future, remember that sidewalk chalk handwriting comes first and policy will follow.