Engineer Waits Until Add/Drop Deadline to Register for Classes, Spends Entire First Week Stressing out and Playing Minecraft

Imagine if every one of your professors canceled their syllabus days and ice-breaker intros. Imagine an email saying, “be free, my child. Take these two weeks of school for yourself. Use them wisely.” That is definitely not what happened to sophomore engineer Allen Burton, who has yet to register for any fall courses. 

Burton explained his controversial decision in an interview. “I just got a free trial of Minecraft realms like last week, and it lasts for thirty days...so I basically have to stay on Minecraft for thirty days or else I’m wasting my trial, ya know? Plus I’ll skip all the useless parts of my classes,” explained Burton, fully aware that he would have 243 Math problems and 8 CIS assignments and 2 CAD's due within 24 hours of finally registering for classes. 

Student witnesses report viewing Burton through his high rise window, playing Minecraft deep into the night. “He cries a lot in there!” said fellow high rise resident Sam Banks. “What’s weird is that no one knows anyone who’s actually on the realm with him? Like…he could just be playing single-player.”

A fellow engineer said of Burton, “What a Chad. I don’t know if he understands that engineers don’t get syllabus days, but God I wish I was on the server with him instead of doing the 243 math problems 8 CIS assignments and 2 CAD’s my professors assigned in the first two days of class.”