Rock On! Confused Premed Enrolls in 7 Music Courses

His coffee had finally run dry. 

His advisor was AWOL, MIA. His altruistic spirit: crushed entirely to a pulp. In his time of need, the Career Services website had abandoned him, tossing him to the wolves like putrid carrion.

Tell me: what else was a budding med student to do? 

In a state of misguided frenzy, prospective premed Ollie Fink (C ‘22) emerged from course selection last Tuesday not with required science courses, but with seven fat, juicy music courses on his metaphorical plate. But before you judge the poor guy too harshly, just keep in mind that music and medicine are two very close-sounding words.

“I need to take a heavy course load, right? Like heavy metal heavy?” Fink sputtered before dropping General Chemistry I in favor of Accordions of the New World.

Fink’s parents, although surprised at his last minute enrollments, nevertheless support their sonically-inclined offspring.

“We support our son and whatever future he chooses 100 percent,” said a gracious Mrs. Fink. “Even if that future contains alcohol, partying, sex, joining your friend’s band which is just a worse version of The Strokes, years of living in an unventilated basement, ugly infighting between the band’s creative minds, physical and cognitive decline due to substance abuse, and a reunion tour a decade later soured by crushed dreams and thoughts of what could have been.”

Here’s hoping that Fink will take honest time to reevaluate his academic plans and register for Career Services’ next open pre-health appointment in 2024.