OP-ED: Include Amy Gutmann’s House in the Second-Year Experience

The University has stated that Greek housing will not be open to sophomores beginning with the class of 2024, angering one of Penn’s most important demographics: people with rich parents. Critics have also accused the University of trying to scam more money from students, which one would never expect from a school that charges its students $5000 for an unlimited hamburger subscription.

If Amy Gutmann wants to force non-greek-affiliated sophomores to live with newly-initiated frat brothers, she should make the same sacrifice. In the spirit of compromise, Penn has to include Amy Gutmann’s house in the second-year experience. 

A select group of high-achieving, outgoing, white, male second years would be selected to board with Gutmann and her husband in their 13,975 square-foot house on Walnut. This would allow Gutmann to show solidarity with the sophomores, who must now overpay for a shared room with a hotel kitchenette.

A frequent criticism of President Gutmann is that she is separated from the student body. What better way to bridge this gap than Toasty Tuesdays, White-Claw Wednesdays, Trustee-Dunk Thursdays, and combination Fundraiser-Tour de Franzia Fridays? Students cannot deny that they would feel more connected to Amy after watching her demolish a 30-rack with the boys.

Of course, Gutmann doesn't actually spend much time in the President's House, so, in order to keep things fair, she should host a few sophomores in her New York City apartment. She could introduce the President's Co-Living Prize and convert her residence into a university president incubator, encouraging a nationwide Penn influence that doesn't consist of white-collar crimes.

If President Gutmann doesn't want to house sophomores, she and the administration could always retract the rule and sell the developing property to an organization that would actually improve student wellness. It could be called New College House West & Down.