Hill Dining Hall to Open Food Truck

In an effort to reduce glacial lines and overcrowding at Hill Dining Hall, Penn Dining will open a food truck on the Hill lawn.

To the elation of many students, the new food truck will be serving the same diverse and delicious menu as Hill does. The food truck will have the familiar comforts of a perpetually empty chocolate milk machine, tiny oranges that aren’t worth the effort to peel, and too much fucking pineapple. 

The new food truck will also have a soft-serve machine that students will never be able to tell if there’s ice cream in or not without making awkward conversation with the server and feeling guilty about asking for ice cream like a fat, sugar-crazed bitch. 

“I’m so happy,” said Engineering senior Henry Mahn, who has eaten nothing but undercooked, fake Chinese stir-fry soy sauce bombs for the past four years. “I can’t wait to spend 15 dollars a swipe to not wait in line to get the same food repeatedly!” 

However, due to a shortage of plates, hungry students will be expected to bring their own plates to the food truck or to take a plate from a different serving bar in Hill Dining Hall.