OP-ED: Why Isn't It Funny to Make Fun of Nursing Students?

So, you’ve probably read like 8 articles about how dumb Wharton is right? Haha, Wharton snakes, haha Wharton bad. Well, as much I agree, it can get a little grating to read over and over. I mean, I love guillotines as much as the next cute farm boy, but writing satirical articles about it is not good praxis. So, while I’m out trying to organize a mass proletariat movement, I think we should take this chance to shift our comedy a bit too. Except, as I spent hours staring into the architectural disgrace that is Huntsman Hall’s exterior, I found that there just wasn’t a group that’s as funny as business majors.

After days trying to write jokes, a thought came to my head: Why isn’t it hilarious to make fun of nursing students? Isn't nursing a big thing here or something?

Amy Solano, Nursing freshman, described her experience to me in a private interview: “It think the answer is pretty simple. It’s just that we’re sad little blobs, full of nothing but red-dyed pepto bismol. You can’t hurt us.”

This excuse seems weak. I suggest we start making fun of Nursing students. Stress can be funny! And those little scrub outfits they all walk around in... very funny! Lugging around very large iced coffees because they are sleep deprived after long days at the hospital, and nursing ironically fails to prioritize their student's mental wellness? Hysterical!

Asked for comment, President Amy Gutmann replied, “What? We have a nursing school?”