OP-ED: Hey, Have You Read My Email?

Hey….!

Hey, you! 

Hey….kiddo?!

Did you happen to get my email?

You know….that thing you get on your computer? With the little stamp icon that has a flying eagle on it…?

Huh? 

Speak up. 

No? 

.....

MY EMAIL! I’M TALKING ABOUT THAT EMAIL THAT YOU APPARENTLY HAVE NOT SEEN AND MAYBE WILL NOT SEE. 

WHAT? SO YOU’RE NOT GONNA READ IT? LIKE YOU’RE SOME BIG SHOT?????? ! 

Oy vEY! MY MOTHERFUCKING EMAIL … It only exists for the purpose of being read. Which means…you should read it. 

You must read my email. That is the conclusion of this. 

Just read my motherfucking email. 

And you might win a $10 Amazon gift card if your voluntary survey response gets chosen by our randomized submission selector. 

Best, 

Anna