OP-ED: Here’s a Sex-Related Editorial Based on My Own Experience with Sex, Which I’ve Had and Continue to Have on a Regular Basis

Hey, Penn. I’m going to share my opinion about something sex-related. Here’s the problem: some people think and behave a certain way, and it’s not right. You know how I know it’s not right? Because I’ve had sex.  

It’s important that we discuss things that make us uncomfortable. Trust me, I don’t want to share these experiences, but I have to because other people have written articles about sex, and I need everyone to know that I relate because I’ve had sex, too. To prove it, I’ll be describing my multiple experiences with sex in the paragraphs below.

The first night of NSO my freshman year, I went to a hot, sweaty frat party. Then, I had sex with someone I met at that party. I had sex with that person because they found me attractive, and this person was not alone. During my freshman year, I had sex with multiple people. I met them at parties, because I went to many parties. Through these experiences with sex, I realized something important, but I don’t remember what it was.

After my freshman year, I had sex with a few more people, but then I started dating someone. This person found me not only attractive but interesting and fun to be around. After a few months, things started to go poorly and we broke up. Do you know what that’s like? Breaking up with someone? It’s a difficult experience, but I coped with it, and you can too. Isn’t that inspiring?

One way I coped was by having sex. I’m telling you this because it was unhealthy of me to have so much sex. Like, so much. It was a dark period of my life (filled with sex). If I knew what I know now, which I’m about to share, I probably wouldn’t have had so much sex. Here’s the thing: not everyone should have as much sex as I’ve had. Really, don’t even try to write an editorial about the sex you’ve had, because it could overshadow mine, and what I’m saying is very important and deserving of praise.

In conclusion, don’t be afraid to have sex. Or maybe have less sex? I don’t quite remember the point of this piece, but I do remember having sex. If you don’t believe me, please go back and read my detailed accounts. I will be sharing this on all of my social media profiles. You will call me brave for it.