OP-ED: Sorry I Have to Juul in Here, It’s an Emotional Support Juul

Oh are my plumes of fumes bothering you? Sorry not sorry, cause this is my emotional support juul and I need it to function.

So many people have asked me to stop vaping my pods — on airplanes, in class, by CHOP, at shabbat services. But telling me to stop juuling is like me telling you to stop breathing air. My life is full of triggers and stressors, and the only coping mechanism I have developed over the past 21 years is to juul the pain away.

Sure, I could practice mindfulness or see a therapist, but the former takes longer than the 2 seconds it takes me to slurp a quick hit and the latter costs at least twice as much as a pack of  pods. For those reasons, I’m out. Instead, I will hit my support juul.

One time I was at a concert hitting my support juul and a father kindly asked me to stop blowing my minty clouds of buzz into his son’s face. I told him that maybe if his son didn’t have such a screechy, annoying little voice, I wouldn’t have been so triggered to have to hit my support juul.

He understood. The only question is why don’t you?