OP-ED: I Ordered a Mango Dragon Fruit Refresher from Stommons and They Actually Gave It to Me

For years, it eluded me. 

Over the past three years, I have spent countless hours in the dungeon of Stommons, but never (never) have I been able to indulge in the sweet, elusive nectar that is the Mango Dragon Fruit Refresher. I have spent many a late night in Stommons, and I have spent many a late night parched and feeling entirely too unrefreshed. Whenever I would go up to the counter of Stommons, I would gird myself and endure the typical barrage of bullying and verbal abuse. Then, tentatively, I would ask in supplicant tones for that holiest of beverages, hoping beyond reason that the Mango gods would have mercy on my soul. The Stommons barista would chuckle, her eyes made of flint, and coolly pronounce, “We don’t have those here.”

But yesterday, everything changed. It was 9:00 P.M. when my caffeine buzz was wearing off, and my mouth was just this side of parched. I was feeling a little wild, so I tried what I knew to be impossible. I approached the counter of Stommons, already bracing myself for the rejection. The Stommons employee looked me over, their nose betraying a twitch of disgust. “Can I get a Mango Dragon Fruit Refresher, please?” I asked, my voice wavering. 

A pause, then. 

“Sure,” said the Stommons employee, shattering the silence and my composure. My mouth dropped. Shock turned to joy, and my heart felt more full than it has ever been. I stood there flabbergasted, unmoving until the employee physically thrust the drink into my hand. I walked back to my study area in a daze, dumbfounded at my own luck. With trembling hands, I brought the straw to my lips, and the beverage gently splashed my tongue… 

It tasted ok.