Taking Econ? Sorry, Nerd, Me and My Friends Were Busy Being Sexy

You probably look up to Elon Musk, yeah? You spend your days coming home after frat parties, wobbling, struggling to reach your desk as the remembrance of having an exam tomorrow hits you hard enough to puke. 

Did you go to Econ Scream? Huh? Do you feel like you’re one step closer to achieving the dream of your start-up idea that has its headquarters in San Francisco? Can you taste the sweet caramel of your possible future Wall Street job rolling around your tongue? 

Sorry to hear that, but it’s hard to care when, unlike the mob, you spend your morning every day reading classics and painting your naked friends onto pure white canvases. Just yesterday, I perfected the art of licking apple cider off my buddy’s bicep, and what were you doing? Reading about Keynes again? Pfft. Why learn what stocks are when you can whisper the poetry of John Keats to your best bro’s delicate hand? I bet you don’t even know the warmth that spreads under your chest when your lips brush the hot, sweated skin of your friend’s neck. 

So give me your dining dollars, loser, some of us are here to really make the most of the college experience.