Trump Apologizes for Ukraine Collusion, Saying He Thought It Was Russia

House Republicans struggle to find a response after recent whistleblower allegations of presidential misconduct. The released transcript of President Trump urging Ukraine to investigate has rocked the Washington establishment.  

Trump responded defensively to the allegations by saying, “Putin wouldn’t return my calls, and, to be fair, Zelensky sounds pretty Russian. So one thing led to another. You know...we all make mistakes. How was I supposed to know Ukraine wasn’t Russia? Putin told me that Ukraine was part of Russia.” 

A more legal defense was made by Rudy Giuliani on Fox News later that night. 

“This is classic double jeopardy. You can’t be charged twice for the same crime. My client here is innocent and is being railroaded just like O.J..”

Senate Republicans have offered only muted support for the President. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConell responded to press queries by saying, “I can’t really comment. I have yet to check the news the last two years.”