Penn Bookstore Deal! Pack of American Spirits to Be Given with Each Purchase of Art History Textbook

Students of art history have come together in celebration of a move that some are describing as “truly revolutionary” and “groundbreaking.” Penn Bookstore has announced a new “Buy One, Get One” policy in which each purchase of an art history textbook will be accompanied by a pack of light blue American Spirit Cigarettes. 

No longer will these “super-broke-but-can-still-afford-dresses-from-Reformation” creative types have to dole out almost 13 dollars at Avril 50 to maintain that sweet nic fix. Isabelle Croft (C '21) said that the financial burden of her habit stole both time and money from her. In response, she has had to neglect other activities she enjoys, like telling others about the very real, impactful change that art history has had on the general welfare of human society. 

Between the stress of understanding the philosophical origins of the Art Nouveau movement in the late 19th century and constantly justifying their major to their parents and peers, Penn’s true intellectual elite have a lot on their plate. The least that the rest of us can do is to indulge them in this destructive habit.

Steven J. Fluharty, Dean of the College, said that “having taken a holistic understanding of student well-being into mind,” he and his colleagues felt that this move would do a lot to ease one of the College’s most pressing problems, dissatisfied art history students.