Oil Deposit Discovered Under Hill, Freshman Housing to Move to DRL

After a huge oil deposit was found underneath Hill College House, Penn has decided to demolish the building in order to start drilling.

Freshman housing currently located in Hill will be moved to the David Rittenhouse Laboratory within the next week. 

“We have set up curtains and cardboard mattresses in the lecture halls and classrooms in DRL,” said Penn Facilities in a statement released to the student body, “Classes will continue to be held in DRL. Just step over the sleeping students.”

Student opinions on the project has been mostly positive.

“I’m excited about the oil drilling because it definitely means Penn tuition will go down,” said Engineering freshman Brooke Asphuk, “and I will never be late for math class.”

Meanwhile, Penn administration has been elated about the oil drilling.

“mO00OneEEyyYY,” said Amy Gutmann, when asked about the developing project, “ i nEeEd mOaAAAAAAooAr M00000ooOOOOo00OonEEeeEEeeeeeEEyyyYYYyY.”

“We need the oil to fuel our totally hybrid and green Penn Ride buses and vans,” said Penn Ride director Joe Mohma, “maybe not more than half of the buses will be empty now.”