An Open Letter to Penn Students: Consider Moving to New York

Dear Penn Students,

I know that many of you will graduate from Penn and pursue career opportunities in the great metropolitan centers: your Toledos, your Fort Waynes, your Wichitas. But I implore you, my fellow Quakers- consider moving to humble New York City.

New York City (known to locals as “NYC” or “the city”) may not have the nightlife of a city like Topeka, but it has its own quaint appeal. Visitors can sample regional delicacies such as a “pastrami on rye” or a “New York slice.” A slice of what, you ask? Why, pizza! Yes, even this podunk town in the middle of nowhere has Italian food. It may not rival a Cincinnati pizza (white bread with ketchup and uncooked hot dog), but it’s authentic!

New York City is reportedly separated into five “boroughs,” each with their own neighborhoods and cultures. How cute is that! Who needs crowded, bustling Omaha when you could settle down in quiet, rustic “Manhattan?” 

Before you go to New York City, it’ll be important to learn some of the local slang so that you can fit right in. If you’re walking somewhere, make sure to announce “I’m walking here” as loudly as possible. Who are you saying this to, you wonder? It doesn’t matter!

Quakers, don’t join the throng of Penn students rushing to Des Moines to pursue jobs in finance and consulting. Give small-town America a chance. Give New York a chance.