Student Slides down Harnwell Trash Chute to Avoid Social Contact in Elevator

In fear of sharing space or having an awkward conversation in the Harnwell elevator, Wharton sophomore Entri Vert has resorted to jumping down the trash chute. 

“Ever since someone asked me how my day was in the elevator, I’ve been traumatized,” said Vert. “I’ve never been able to get back on the elevator since.”

Since then, Vert has used the trash chute to go from the 18th floor to the ground floor.

“It’s much faster than the elevator too,” said Vert. “I don’t have to stop on other floors for people. I can go from the top floor of Harnwell to ground in a couple of seconds. I might even reach terminal velocity.” 

Unfortunately for Vert, he must still use the elevator to up the Harnwell building.

“I can’t avoid it just yet. It hurts me every time, but I’m dealing with it,” said Vert. “I close my eyes, count to 30 in deep breaths, and before I know it I’m at my floor.”

Vert has recently started training his upper body strength in an attempt to climb up the trash chute, thus eliminating the need to use the elevator at all.