Watch out Yale: Penn May Become Second Ivy to Have an Alum Impeached While President

Oh damn! Congrats to every Penn student who got rejected from Yale and ended up at this trash institution. While Yale may have us beat in some categories, it may be on the verge of losing their title in the most prestigious category of all: having an alumnus impeached while President of the United States.

Yale has always thought it was hot shit because Bill Clinton went to law school there and then got impeached. Although no other ivy has been able to claim that honor, that may soon be changing. Penn may become the second ivy to have an alum impeached while in office. Though Donald Trump hardly went to Penn, having been an incredibly low-performing transfer student, he is technically an alum. 

As the impeachment inquiry heats up, sources say the Yale administration is getting nervous about losing their exclusive rights to this title. Although Donald Trump’s possible donations to the university (or lack thereof) are unimpressive, his impeachment could be the biggest bump to Penn’s prestige in recent years. So thanks, Donald, from everyone here at Penn. Keep up the good work!