OP-ED: Welcome to Pret Where We Have 43.6 Lines

Welcome to Pret, where we have more lines than a Wharton senior at a pregame! If you are paying with Penncard or bursar, please go to the line on the LEFT, right next to the soups and drinks, so you can be glared at for being in the way. 

Here at Pret, we put a lot of work into our menu and are proud of the food we serve. We want you to put work into getting it so you can share our sense of earned accomplishment, and that is why it is important to our business model that you jostle through a gauntlet of 43.6 lines to get it. Waiting in one of those lines is the next important step in achieving this delayed gratification. 

We welcome you to Pret with open arms and doors that are only partially blocked by aggressive patrons, but we do reserve the right to refuse you service if you form a single line —particularly if you reference Agner Kraup Erlang or any other scholar who made meaningful contributions to algorithmic queueing theory.