OP-ED: Sorry I’m Late, but Hey I Brought a Small Sandwich Just for Me

Excuse me, sorry, pardon me, could I just sneak in ther– yeah awesome thank you so much. Sorry, I know its November but I always forget that this class starts at 1:30 and not 1:37.

My schedule is super busy I just barely have time to eat lunch. My last class doesn’t end until noon. But I’m just so busy see how I have to multi-task and eat this small sandwich during this seminar class? See how I also now have Slack open on my desktop, just so much club stuff to do. 

Sorry to anyone who doesn't enjoy the smell of chipotle mayo while learning about the struggles of the oppressed, but like doesn't it just smell so good? See even the professor wants to try this overpriced sandwich, that's why she keeps making passive-aggressive glances towards me. 

Hey neighbor, do you want some? I don’t really like pickles so you can have those if you want. Oh, a bite? Uhh, I would but I’m super germaphobic and also don’t have time to eat much. Did I mention I didn’t get out of my last class until noon?