Jewish History Class Graded 60% on Exams, 40% on Chutzpah

Dr. Shmuli Rabinowitz’s new course, The Jewish Diaspora For the 80 Millionth Time, is being graded mostly on exams, but more than a little on chutzpah.

“I’m sick of all the god-damn meshugganah,” Dr. Rabinowitz told UTB, mainly using his hands. “Every year I assign responses, quizzes, papers — these kids can’t stop complaining. They send me email after email asking for extensions, make-ups, you name it. No more! I want chutzpah. Come to my office and face me like a man.”

Some students were taken aback by Dr. Rabinowitz’s unique grading system, finding it and the professor to be a tad stereotypical.

“We were supposed to be going over the syllabus but Dr. Rabinowitz kept shouting at us ‘you kids know bupkis nowadays!’” Sara Towns (C ‘21) reported. “I was like ‘is this some weird performance art or something?’ But no, Dr. Rabinowitz is truly just a Jew’s Jew.”

When asked what constitutes ‘chutzpah,’ Dr. Rabinowitz responded, “Waltzing into my office and demanding an A, telling me I got some schmutz on button-down shirt that I didn’t notice, or bringing up Palestine in any capacity during this class.”

“Now that’s chutzpah,” Dr. Rabinowitz concluded. “And kid, you won’t get nowhere if you don’t got chutzpah.”