BREAKING: Penn Biden Center Endorses Bernie Sanders For President
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February 5, 2020 at 12:56 am
BREAKING: Penn Biden Center for Diplomacy and Engagement, a foreign affairs-focused policy center founded by Presidential candidate and Penn alum Joseph R. Biden, has endorsed Bernie Sanders for President.
“It ultimately came down to us endorsing a candidate we thought could stay awake during a Congressional hearing,” the Center wrote in a statement. “Mr. Biden isn’t senile… but he’s not not senile.”
Some of the Center's employees, fed-up with their $15.00/hour wage, could be found bowing down to a Bernie cut-out while reading Marx's Das Kapital and lighting incense in the break room.
Upon being asked how former Vice President Biden reacted to this endorsement, the Center’s Executive Director shrugged and asked us “who Joe Biden was again” and that she had “forgotten he was still in this thing at this point. He hasn't been around here in a while."
Mr. Biden declined to comment.