Breaking: Calling Pete Buttigieg a Rat Is Both Good and Cool

In every Democratic primary, things are bound to get ugly. I personally remember when Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton brawled on the debate stage, so it should come as no surprise that this year, the candidates are using similar tactics. After all, in the most recent debate, Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders threw dozens of punches despite claiming to be the bestest of friends. However, some have claimed that calling Pete Buttugggieg a rat after he rigged the entire election in his favor and killed Bloomberg on stage is going too far. 

The Bernie Bros, using their cruel tactics, have been calling the best presidential candidate a rodent for a while now, and while I agree they should be imprisoned for this, I think it can work in the favor of the Pete campaign. As in, I believe Bernie Bros made a grave mistake. They have caused masses of rats to rise up and out of the sewers to support Pete Buttigegs’ run for president. 

“It’s like the plague,” said one Bernie Bro. “We haven’t seen so many rats in one place since the Black Death.”

In a world fueled by identity politics, it’s only right that we embrace Peet Buuttigieg’s identity as a dirty little rat boy. Like this, we can continue to nibble around the edges of modern democracy until we fucking win this thing.