Crisis Averted: TSA Seized Grace’s Hummus in Airport Security

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has secured the safety of the American public once again. 

Before she left for the airport last Sunday, Grace Fineberg (C '22) packed herself a hearty pint of roasted garlic hummus and carrots to eat on the plane. She was so excited to kick back, crack open the lid, inflict a pungent smell unto a plane of innocent passengers, and proceed to eat her very loud snack. 

The TSA, however, had other ideas. 

The moment Grace's snack bag entered the x-ray machine, alarms started flashing, the word "warning" blared over the loudspeakers, and a full SWAT team descended upon the scene. After 15 minutes of explosives tests and rummaging through baggage, TSA agents pulled out Grace's pint of hummus. Without saying a word, they sealed it in a biohazard infectious waste bag, put it in a trash bin with lighter fluid, and set it on fire. 

"This was a major security risk for Grace, her fellow passengers, and ultimately everyone in this airport. We had no choice but to destroy it," TSA Agent Richard Yu told UTB staff. "You never know what type of danger could ensue on an aircraft. No one should ever eat that much hummus. In a way, we were protecting Grace from the danger she would ultimately have inflicted upon herself."