Gaming Laptop Just Porn Laptop Now
Photo by Oleg Magni / CC0 BY 2.0
February 23, 2020 at 10:12 am
Well, this is depressing. Nicolas Cavalcanti (C ‘21) no longer uses his gaming laptop for its intended purpose.
Gone are the days of CS:GO and StarCraft II: Cavalcanti now uses his lil’ battlestation to explore the vast and welcoming realm of digital pleasures. Over the course of his time at Penn, objectives and killstreaks have slowly yet surely morphed into smut and erotica.
“Yeah, I used to be pretty active on Steam,” Cavalcanti admitted with a shrug. “Now, I just… blow off steam, I guess.”
Cavalcanti’s roommates have expressed concern for the dark path their dear friend is walking down.
“He’s transformed that poor gaming laptop into a 24/7 stream of high definition skin flicks,” Andres Mondon (C ‘21) said with a shudder.
“I’m really worried for him,” Adrian Brown (C ‘21) said, shaking his head. “He hasn’t logged onto Hearthstone in months.”
In his formative years, Cavalcanti had maintained a healthy balance of video games and porno. It wasn’t until college that a demanding course load and a part-time job forced him to reconsider his priorities.
“During high school, my life was basically playing League and masturbating whenever I had at least a minute of uninterrupted time to spare,” Cavalcanti explained, with sorrow in his eyes. “Come sophomore year, I knew one of the two just had to go.”