OP-ED: I'm in Penn Dems and Yes, I Fall Asleep to Pre-Recorded ASMR Phone Bankers

With the Iowa caucuses in full swing today, Penn Dems has been hard at work. Between canvassing, registering voters, and getting positively trashed to cope with the fact that Mike Bloomberg is actually gaining traction, my fellow Dems and I have no time to sleep. That is why we have taken the time to record our most skilled phone bankers in the act. 

Every night I lay my head down on the pillow. “Hello,” whispers my friend Mauricio through my AirPods. “Is this Dale?”

"Yes… this…  is he…," I whisper as I drift off to sleep. “Hi Dale, I’m a volunteer for the…”

“Iowa…” I whisper back, my last words before my sweet, sweet slumber. Without this, I can’t sleep. I have to be doing something for the cause at all times. But now that I have the voice of my colleagues playing in my ear, I can go to sleep feeling like I’m still making a difference. Were we making a difference phone-banking? Do people really change their minds about candidates from spam calls? Maybe not. But at least this way we can believe.