Queen Shit! McKenzie Blacked Out Again Last Night

Nursing junior McKenzie Castor had another exciting weekend. She had the time of her life while her neurons were massacred, yet again, by the endless stream of Burnett’s Peach Vodka she funneled down her throat. “Okay Queen!!!!” shouted her friends as she started to lose her sense of balance.

McKenzie’s night started off a little slow. She was at her friend's apartment for a low-key pregame where she only had around five to 10 shots. She wasn’t quite drunk enough and to be honest the vibes were a little off. As she went up for another shot, McKenzie fell back and hit her head on the counter, causing serious and permanent brain damage. “Periodt!!” yelled her friends. “You’re so crazy I love it!”

McKenzie’s iconic night continued as her little gang decided to walk to a party going on across campus. McKenzie was really feeling herself that night and decided she wanted to share with her devoted Instagram followers just how great she was feeling. And what better way than with a nude on her rinsta! “Iconic!!” screamed her friends when they saw the post. “That’s crazy!” said another friend when they read McKenzie’s family’s outraged comments.

After McKenzie drunkenly fell on the dance floor to Dua Lipa’s hit single “Don’t Start Now,” her friends decided to pack into an Uber and head downtown. McKenzie carried the handle she stole from the party into the car and started to chug. “Oh my god I love this so much!” shouted her friend. 

As she put the handle down, she felt it coming. That’s when the most iconic moment of the night happened. She threw up in her friends’ hands. “I’m obsessed!!” yelled her friend as she opened up the window and tossed the throw up out to the street. McKenzie smiled as she started to fade away.

McKenzie woke up the next morning with no memory of last night’s events. As she intensely vomited into her toilet her roommate walked by and could only say one thing, “Queen Shit!”