Sophomore to Study Abroad in Quahog, Rhode Island

“It seems today, that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV,” said Wharton sophomore Roger Smith about his decision to study abroad in the small New England town of Quahog, Rhode Island. “I just really wanted to find a place with those good old-fashioned values on which we used to rely,” said Smith, who will be taking classes at the Rhode Island College while also interning at the local Pawtucket Brewery. 

Smith is excited to get to know his host family, the Griffins, a nice Irish American family living on Spooner Street. The patriarch of the Griffins, Peter, also works at the Pawtucket Brewery and will be taking Smith under his wing. Peter is excited to bring Smith around to the local watering hole, the Drunken Clam, after work to hang with his buddies Joe Swanson, Glenn Quagmire, and Cleveland Brown.

Smith is most excited to meet his host mother Lois, a woman of irresistible sensuality described by many as a “MILF that you didn’t even know you wanted to fuck.”

“When I saw who my host mother was going to be, my jaw dropped to the floor,” said Smith. Lois is also known for her carnal and titillating voice. Smith can’t wait to spend time with her doing things like driving to the grocery store and going grocery shopping.

Smith will also spend time volunteering at Adam West High School, tutoring a number of students including his host brother Chris. “Chris doesn’t seem like the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m still excited to get to know him anyway,” Smith told UTB. Meg will also be there.

The final members of the Griffin family are the littlest brother and baby of the family, Stewie, and the family dog Brian. Smith will be sharing a room with whiz-kid Stewie and his adorable stuffed bear Rupert. Smith, an active member of the queer community at Penn, is excited to spend time with Stewie — who identifies as queer. 

After spending a week with the Griffins, Smith only had one thing to say. “Lucky there’s a Family Guy. Lucky there’s a man who positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry. He’s our Family Guy.”