Sad! My Computer Gives Me Drexel Ads Because It Knows I'm Not Smart Enough for Penn

Yeah, I flubbed my SAT scores. I mean, it’s easy to add a one in front of a 600, giving you the perfect 1600 you know half of the people in this school got. And yeah, the super amazing charity which builds homes for homeless children in Africa that I wrote about in my common app doesn’t actually exist. But it would be cool if it did. Just like it would be cool if I had gotten a perfect 1600 on the SAT. 

But you know what they say, “cheaters never win,” and I’m learning just how true that is. My laptop is fighting for academic integrity. In short, my computer keeps giving me Drexel ads because it KNOWS that I don’t belong here. 

At first, it didn't bother me, but now, it's becoming really problematic. Take last Friday for example. I was having a nice night in curled up in bed scrolling through Facebook and what do I find? Yep, a Drexel ad. It’s like the evil creature hidden behind the intoxicating glow of my laptop just wants to rub in the fact that I'm not Penn material. 

It got worse the other day when I tried to show my friends my new 2048 high score and all of a sudden: BAM! Drexel ad. My friends laughed at me and one even went so far as to drop the Mean Girls reference “she doesn’t even go here!” I was heartbroken.

But the final straw was last week when I was doing a class project and had to connect my computer to the projector. In my most vulnerable moment, a hellish Drexel ad with smiling kids carrying books popped up on the screen. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t give the presentation and had to go cry in the McNeil building gender-neutral bathroom.

Having faced such embarrassment, it seems that transferring to Drexel may be my best option. At least then my computer would stop tormenting me. I'll be exchanging my red and blue for blue and gold upon returning from spring break. Go Dragons!