Faithful! For Lent, Susie Is Giving Up

As your youth pastor would say, “It’s lent szn, boiz!” Since we can’t all go into the desert and fast for 40 days as Jesus did, Big Papi Francis has released a more reasonable list of things to give up — including internet trolling and gossip. “I heard that anyone who doesn’t give up gossiping is going to get coronavirus, on God,” said Francis in a tweet Monday morning.

One Penn student, Susie Roberts (C ’22), would like to take things a little farther this year, however. She noted that while she “respects Pope Francis for curating a list of issues he finds compelling every year,” she also feels that the goals set out are the bare minimum. “Pope Francis’ list does not pander to me as a high-achieving Ivy League student,” said Susie. “That is why for lent this year I have chosen to give up everything entirely.” 

Susie details her plan to “give up” as sitting in her room in bed until Easter, eating ramen, watching Netflix, and crying. Another local Catholic student and friend of Roberts, James Wade, agreed with Roberts’ plan. “Did Jesus do homework in the desert? No. He didn’t.” 

Teachers at the school who have assigned homework to Roberts and Wade declined to comment on the idea that they may be infringing on Catholic students’ right to free exercise of religion.