Stealing! How to Simultaneously Manage Your Luxury Water Habit and Subversive Political Beliefs

Life’s a balancing act, especially in today’s crazy world where everyone is trying to have it all! Work, interpersonal relationships, following the news, it all adds up and takes its toll on your mental well-being. 

There’s nothing worse, though, than having to explain to your friends that the daily bottle of Smart Water you drink does not, in any way, invalidate your anticapitalist bonafides. Listen, you know that single-use plastic is choking the natural systems upon which all of our lives depend, but you lost your Hydroflask last week. 

So, my friends here’s where the magic happens — just start stealing them shits! Now, not only do you get the fancy bottle that makes you feel like the little prince you truly are, but you also get to say that you’re bringing the system down in the process. Breathe easy and rest even easier at night because no one is going to doubt your radical politics anymore.