Feeling a Little Down? You Deserve It.

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You brought this upon yourself.

So, you never thought your Ivy League experience would end up with you essentially going to a for-profit online college from the comfort of your home? Well, you might say this is the fault of a pandemic that’s ravaged our weak financial institutions, but actually, it’s your fault. How? Well, you chose to have faith in our University of Penn. You figured you could make something great out of your Wharton degree, or your transfer-into-Wharton degree. Fuck you. 

Oh, you’re sad? Maybe you should have thought about that before attending college. Didn’t you realize when you enrolled that a key part to Ivy League education was eternal suffering? It said it right there in your acceptance letter. Maybe this’ll teach you to not skim a text for once. Now log off. Go farm. Help your mother do the dishes. Get a broom.