Whoops: Shabbat Services Devolve into Jews Saying Hi to Each Other Again

Uh-oh… it’s happening again. It started during Hinei Ma Tov when Rachel Weiss snuck into the service just a little bit late and one of her former religious school students rushed over to say hello. It was around that time that old Sam Feinberg noticed his good friend Fred Zuckerberg on the other side of the sanctuary. Sam painstakingly stood up to wave to Fred and whispered hello loud enough to be heard over the cantor’s singing. At that point, Helen Klapper noticed Barbara Hersch’s granddaughter, Sarah, just a few rows in front of him. Helen and Barbara play canasta together so he’s met Sarah a few times and figured he ought to say hi, especially since Sam Feinberg has already been making a ruckus. Helen called out “Sarah,” at which point five different women looked around to see who was calling them. Then Sarah Silverman caught sight of Sarah Rosen and they both got up to greet each other; apparently Hannah Schwarz had invited Lauren Gross to her bat mitzvah but not her twin sister Allison Gross and it’s all anyone’s been talking about. Mrs. Rosen and Mrs. Silverman both got up to scold their daughters for talking during services, but first greeted each other and laughed about their daughters’ constant gossiping. Meanwhile, Toby Eisenberg was calling over several people to say hello to the cantor’s wife, Jessica, who he hadn’t seen since at least two days prior. At that time, Rebecca Selman was just entering the sanctuary with her 3-month-old baby, which caused quite a stir as several people got up to come see little Esther. By the time the Shema started, the room was full of people laughing and greeting one another. Just like last Friday.