Student Jet Lagged After Huge Trip Taking out Trash

He breathed deeply. His hand squeezed the arm of his chair. He was nervous. Was this even safe? The girl next to him tapped him and asked if it was his first trip. He said no, but it had been a long time since he had made such a journey. A long, drawn-out “Michaellllllll” is heard from the kitchen. He gulped. It was now or never. He entered the kitchen. 

“Please take the trash out,” said the woman. Michael Collins (C’22) looked up. Looked at the woman, his mom. Looked out the window to the curb, his destination. It was a far trek for Michael, who hadn’t left the house in three weeks. He took the heavy bag and began to search for his shoes. “How meaningless things become if you don’t use them”, he thought to himself. He found them mixed with textbooks, papers, and other things he hadn’t used since being placed in confinement.

He struggled to remember how to put them on. After a minute and his sister calling him “a dumbass” he got them on his feet. He struggled with the doorknob, forgetting if it turned left or right. He opened the door and faced the harshness of the elements. It was a sunny day, 78 degrees, and the sun was blinding. Was this God’s punishment? Indeed. 

He cautiously took a few steps forward, only to retreat once again. He could see the curb. So close but so far, gleaming in the hellish sun. He emerged once more, took a deep breath and began his trek. He was halfway across the yard when he realized: he had left the bag of trash where he had put his shoes on. "No. Nooo!" he screamed to the sky. He cursed his luck. After he had come so far. He was nearly at his destination. How could he be so careless?! Grumbling to himself, he went back to retrieve the bag.

Armed with the bag, he used all his strength to get the bag to the curb. He hastily returned home. Upon re-entering his house, he found himself exhausted and he realized that while it had been several hours since he began the task to him, the inside of the house was on a different timezone, one in which only a few minutes had elapsed. Michael curled up in bed and has been asleep since yesterday afternoon. Hopefully, when he wakes up, he will be over his immense jet-lag.