Professor Taking Her Class P/F Only Grades 60% of Student Finals

On Friday, some students in STAT-101 were distraught to find out that their grades had not yet been submitted, despite having taken the final exam over a week earlier. While a majority of the students had opted to take the class pass/fail after returning home, there were still serious concerns over their final grades. Many students finished the online final exam feeling absolutely devastated by the sheer number of questions that could not be found on Chegg or in their numerous slides of lecture powerpoints. There was just no way to know what grade they would end up receiving at the end of all of this. Classmates took to Piazza to demand a quick turnaround on grades. To their surprise, the post was answered within five minutes by the professor herself who stated the following: 

“It has come to my attention that an overwhelming majority of you have decided to take my class pass/fail. While I do not blame many of you for choosing this option, it made me feel like my job as a professor is quite useless. I am also at the point in my quarantine state where I no longer feel like putting in more than the bare minimum effort. As such, I have opted to take STAT-101 pass/fail as well. 

What this means is that I will be striving to ride the line between passing and failing incredibly closely. I have already calculated it, and I do not have to grade all of your exams in order to retain my job as a professor at Penn for the next semester. More specifically, I only need to submit precisely 60% of your grades on PenninTouch. I have already designed a perfectly randomized, unbiased method of choosing 60% of student names, similar to what I have taught you in this class. Also, I plan on taking my time getting these grades in, as it seems like everyone is handing out extensions these days. I suggest you all relax, ‘take a chill pill’, and watch some Netflix. I wish you all good luck as I begin to randomly select names tomorrow. And to those in the 40%, I will see you next semester.”