Penn Hires Jungle Cruise Guides to Give Campus Zoom Tours

With campuses around the country shut down this summer, the last thing the University of Pennsylvania wanted was for high school juniors to be deprived of the opportunity of hearing about how campus clubs are actually quite inclusive and not competitive at all. 

Always the innovator, Penn has teamed up with The Walt Disney Company in order to bring prospective students virtual campus tours via Zoom. Each tour will be led by the wise-cracking skippers from everyone’s favorite 1930s era riverboat ride, The Jungle Cruise. 

Dean of Penn Admissions, Eric Furda, first had the idea of incorporating these jokesters into campus tours while vacationing with his family at Disney World over winter break. “The boat had ventured behind a waterfall and out of nowhere, Skipper Steve told this real knee slapper about the backside of water being the eighth wonder of the world. It was comedic genius! I laughed so hard I fell off the boat and right into an animatronic hippo’s mouth. They had to shut down the whole ride and get a rescue team to medivac me out,” Furda reminisced fondly. 

Although some members of the Kite and Key Society have expressed concerns about being replaced by aspiring actors who have never stepped foot on campus, Furda has promised that it will be the honest and genuine scripted experience that every student and parent has come to love. 

“Never fear!” Furda stated, “Prospective students will still get to hear about important traditions like toast throwing and how Greek life isn’t that important to the social scene, but now, it’ll be with puns!”