Citing ‘Preservation of History’, Town Refuses To Remove Hitler Statue

 In a press announcement yesterday, the town has decided to not remove the statue of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler from the town square. 

Town leaders cited that it had a responsibility to ‘preserve history’, especially since the town has declining education levels. 

“People just aren’t as informed and educated about the world anymore,” said mayor Neo Nashi. “They don’t read books, don’t pay attention in school, they don’t go to museums. Nobody learns anymore. So, we decided that the best way to make sure people learn about human atrocities is to preserve statues of the people that committed them.” 

The decision has been applauded by town citizens. 

“The only way, and I mean the only way, for people to remember the atrocities that Hitler committed is to have a larger-than-life statue of him in the town square,” said town citizen Dumm Puck. “Yeah, I know there are a lot of Jewish people that are uncomfortable with the statue, but they just have to deal with it. My inability to read a book far outweighs the fact 6 million of their people were killed.”

Citizens also cited the need to educate the future generations. 

“We also need to make sure that our children are educated,” said Red Knack. “The other day, I was walking with my toddler son in the square, and he asked me ‘Daddy, who is Adolf Hitler?’ And I responded, ‘He killed millions of people, and that’s why we need to have a statue of him, instead of the victims, so that we never forget him. 

And then my son asked me, ‘If I kill millions of people, will I get a big statue of me in the square?’”