Op-Ed: If Elon Hates Social Distancing So Much, Why Is He Sending People to the ISS?

In this day and age, there is a lot of deceit and deception permeating American politics. As a white, 15-year-old boy who gets all my news from Reddit and the Joe Rogan Experience, I never expected that deceit to stem from the most important male role model in my life: Elon Musk. 

Social distancing has been really hard for me, so when dad-- I mean when Elon tweeted that "the coronavirus panic is dumb," I thought to myself, my God! This man is a prophet! That's the kind of news we all need right now! We need short, summary statements legitimizing our discomforts from white men like us who actually believe in what this country is all about: making money. 

Despite his proclaimed disdain for social distancing, Elon launched the biggest social distancing gesture in history this week: he yeeted some guys into space. Unfortunately, considering the facts and logic of the situation, the ISS is actually extremely distant from the Earth. It is clear to see that outer space actually contains the single largest amount of distance in the entire world. So my question for Elon is, whose side are you on?

Because of these inconsistencies in Elon's rhetoric, I will be boycotting all SpaceX live stream launches. Until Elon goes back to validating my fears about quarantine, I feel it is my civic duty to watch the launches two (or maybe even three) hours after they have concluded. I urge others to do the same. I will also be boycotting my mom's Tesla. She doesn't let me drive it anyways, but that is not the point. If she wanted to let me drive it just once around the block maybe, I might reconsider. Until then, my protest is unwavering.