Student Excited to be Back Making Direct Eye Contact with Self for 15-25 Hours a Week

After a disappointing spring term and a monotonous summer, Lily Garcia (C '23) was excited to get back to all of her classes this semester. The sophomore and PoliSci major was ready to get back onto her Zoom account that she first opened last March, and, through the platform, begin making direct and sustained eye contact with herself for 15-25 hours a week.

Since getting back in the swing of things, Garcia has taken great pleasure in closely examining her eyebrows throughout her statistics class, trying to figure out why her mouth moves the way it does while speaking during her communications seminar, and watching her eclectic-looking teeth munch on carrots — wondering why as a society we put so much emphasis on how our mouth-bones look — while listening to her environmental studies professor discuss the fires in California.

“This summer was just too long for me,” said Garcia. “It’s really nice to have more structure in my life and some obligations on my calendar. 10:30-3 is my stare at myself at my desk time — to keep things professional in my classes. 4-6 is my stare at myself on my couch time — for a more relaxed meeting with my debate team.”

“Things get really crazy when I break out a White Claw and the whole team logs onto Zoom to individually stare at ourselves alone in our bedrooms from 8-10pm for our virtual initiation.”